another one.

i have another interview at a hotel in st. paul. my job coach told me that she's gonna pick me up tomorrow morning and come to it with me. i hope someone sees potential in me working at a hotel soon because i'm going crazy here unemployed. i gotta review my resume. after about 15 or so interviews- i THINK i got most of my work history down by now but it doesn't hurt to review it. i suppose this is just more proof that minnesota discriminates against disabled people working but God forbid amanda supports me because her head is so far up her physical therapist in-law's ass and she just sees more benefits in acting like she's supporting me by COINCIDENTALLY finding a physical therapist who is related to her- so NOTHING i have ever done in the past (whether it be for therapy or college or working) REALLY FUCKIN MATTERS TO HER because i got this GREAT advocate who recognizes ALL the work i've done. MY GRANDMA SURE KNEW WHAT SHE WAS DOING WHEN SHE PUT HER CONFIDENCE IN AMANDA! *rolls eyes* HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF PEOPLE REFUSED TO RECOGNIZE ALL THE THINGS YOU DID JUST TO KEEP YOU IN THE SAME PLACE SO IT'S MORE CONVENIENT FOR THEM AS OPPOSED TO HELPING THEM ACHIEVE AND SUCCEED AT YOUR OWN FUCKING GOALS SINCE IT IS MY LIFE. i didn't take the long and hard way out to JUST remain here.. IF i would have- i'd just fuckin rely on being quadriplegic and DEPENDANT ON A DAMN WHEELCHAIR. NOTICE I PUSHED MYSELF NOT TO DEPEND ON THAT SHIT?! IT WAS BECAUSE MY GRANDMA USED TO LIE TO ME AND CLAIM THAT "WHEN I'M GONE- AMANDA WILL GET YOU LIVING IN NEW YORK!" *yawns*.. you're just making your aunt appear as a naive overconfident crazy old woman. I HOPE MY NIECES DO THE EXACT SAME THING TO ME AS YOU'RE DOING TO YOUR AUNT! SHE'D BE SO PROUD IF SHE WAS ALIVE!.. family don't mean SHIT these days.. which is the BIGGEST reason why i wanna move from this state. i've broadened my options on where i wanna live- my care coordinator brought up pennsylvania and i looked at a map how close that was to new york and it's right next to new york. so i'm pretty sure i'm gonna look into housing options in pennsylvania also. as long as it's FAR away from my shallow, entitled, nosey ass relatives. i know they just check on me in hopes to see when or if i'm gonna crumble and give up my goals. i'm not sure why the fuck they care so much if i fail.. might be because they're narcissistic fools. if they were as smart as they think they are, they'd realize they're wasting their time since they're such active great people.